


It's All Wrong

by Pseudthisyafucks (collettephinz)



Category: Youtube - RPF
Genre: I'm Sorry, I'm really sorry, M/M, Sad, again character death, blame soph, brief description of gore, if you read this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-23
Updated: 2018-02-23
Packaged: 2019-03-22 18:49:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13770312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/collettephinz/pseuds/Pseudthisyafucks
Summary: Statistically, the majority of road accidents happen within twenty-five miles of your home.The one that really mattered happened right down the street.





	It's All Wrong

**Author's Note:**

  * For [writeasoph](https://archiveofourown.org/users/writeasoph/gifts).



> it's not my fault ~~~~
> 
> it's her fault ~~~~~~~~~
> 
> have a good day~~~~~~~~~~~

Statistically, the majority of road accidents happen within twenty-five miles of your home. 

The one that really mattered happened right down the street. 

Felix was in the kitchen making dinner, waiting for Jack to come back from walking Edgar, when he heard the crash of metal and glass. The sound was so jarring that, at first, he’d thought it was the scream of some sort of monster, until a car alarm rang persistently and Felix realized that while something bad had just happened, it was entirely manmade.

He grabbed his jacket and went outside, curious as to what had happened. Just down the road was a bus, one of the huge city ones for public transport. Not a school bus, thank god. The thing was big and white on the front. Felix could easily see the driver, who was slumped against the shattered glass of the windshield, like he’d been propelled into it with the force of the accident. There was also a bus behind it. It looked like one bus had crashed into the back of the other. Felix took in all of this with a sort of curious apathy. There were other bystanders, and half of them were on their phones, so Felix didn’t feel like he needed to muddle up the police phone lines with his call among all the others. People got off the buses, looking dazed but otherwise unharmed. But the crowd still panicked. Someone screamed “call an ambulance, he’s bleeding!” The bus driver wasn’t bleeding, though, and someone had already gone inside to shake him awake. Now that Felix looked closer, he noticed everyone was looking at something in front of the bus. 

Edgar ran past Felix with his leash falling behind him and no one holding on. 

Felix broke into a dead sprint for the accident and shoved past everyone. There was a roaring in his ears as he fought to get to the front of the crowd. When he finally broke through, he fell to his knees. 

Jack was crushed between the bumper of the bus and the low brick fence that separated the houses from the sidewalks. There was too much blood, too much red everywhere, pooling beneath Jack’s body, staining his clothes, running from his mouth. He wasn’t moving. Felix couldn’t even see if he was breathing. The bus driver was trying to put the bus in reverse, but someone stopped him, rambling something about keeping the organs inside Jack’s body. 

Then Jack coughed, a bubble of red popping across his lips. Felix scrambled to his side and reached out, taking Jack’s face into his hands and turning his head. “Look at me, look at me,” he whispered, shaking like a leaf. “Seán, Seán, baby, I need you to look at me, okay? Stay with me.”

Jack dragged his eyes up and held Felix’s gaze for only a second before his eyes slid shut again. Felix choked on air before shaking Jack, trying to bring him back. “Wake up, wake up, wake up.”

“F’lix…”

“Yeah, yeah, it’s me, baby, it’s Felix. I need you to open your eyes for me, okay? Show me those beautiful baby blues, I wanna see them, let me see them.” Jack managed to open his eyes again and Felix sobbed in relief. He quickly wiped his eyes on his shoulders, not wanting his tears to blur his sight and keep him from seeing Jack in perfect clarity. 

“I need you to stay awake with me, you hear?” Felix said, keeping eye contact like it could somehow keep Jack alive. He couldn’t look down Jack’s body, he couldn’t look down and see the way Jack’s stomach was pulled open by the bus, the way he was bleeding out onto the asphalt. Jack was fading away in front of Felix’s eyes and he didn’t hear anyone sirens. Jack’s eyes started to fall shut again. _“Call a fucking ambulanceI”_ Felix screamed, suddenly furious at how everyone was just standing about and staring. One girl was standing to the side with her phone up, recording, actually fucking recording. 

“F’lix…” Jack’s eyes were open. He was suddenly staring intently, a lot more awake than he’d been before. His hand came up, brushing the side of Felix’s neck, leaving bloody fingerprints and remaining. “Cold,” Jack mumbled. “Can’nae feel me legs…”

“I know, Seán, I know, but it’s going to be okay. We’re gonna get you help, yeah? And then you’re gonna come home and you’re gonna eat the shitty dinner I made and everything’s gonna be okay again, everything’s gonna be okay.”

Jack coughed blood again. Then he smiled, somehow. “Shitty cook.”

“Oh fuck yeah I’m a shitty cook, and I’ll get that fucking tattooed across my big ass forehead if you promise to stay with me, okay? You can even choose the font, you can choose a picture if you want.” Felix couldn’t stop touching Jack, clinging to his shirt, holding his jaw in his hands, running fingers through his hair. Anything to keep Jack’s attention and keep him awake. But again, Jack’s eyes started to close. “Seán, don’t do this to me,” Felix begged.

“Scared, Fe’.”

Felix’s chest spasmed painfully and he couldn’t draw in air. “Don’t be scared,” he whispered, knowing Jack could hear him. All of the bystanders were damningly silent. There still weren’t sirens. “Don’t be scared, Seán,” Felix said. “I’m here. I’ll always be here.”

“Scared…”

Felix sobbed again, then leaned in to press his forehead against Jack’s. Jack wasn’t opening his eyes anymore, and he was barely breathing. He was dying. Jack was dying and no one was coming to help.

“You remember when you and I first said we loved each other?” he asked Jack, keeping his voice low so that bitch with the camera couldn’t hear him. “Remember how scared I looked? I nearly threw up, but I couldn’t keep dancing around you, I couldn’t keep pretending I didn’t love you and pretending that just being next to you gave me fucking chest pains because I couldn’t kiss you. You wanna know how actually got the fucking balls to tell you?”

Jack didn’t answer. Felix only barely felt him breathe. “I only got the balls to tell you because I thought about being able to do all that we’ve done together. I thought about having the chance to wake up next to you you and take you all over the world and show you every beautiful thing on this shitty fucking planet because none of it matters until you see it. I got the courage to tell you by thinking about what I could do if you said you felt the same, and because I knew that you, you’re too good of a person, Seán. Even if you didn’t feel the same, you wouldn’t cut me out. You wouldn’t leave me. You’re loyal and good and you’d never let me suffer alone. I was brave because I knew you would be with me no matter what happened.”

Felix took in shaky breath. “Now it’s your turn, Seán. Don’t be scared. It doesn’t matter what happens or where you go from here, I’m gonna be there. Because I’m an annoying and clingy piece of shit and I will never let you be, do you hear me? I’m gonna be there. I’m always gonna be by your side.”

Impossibly, Jack’s eyes opened. The depth of those sky blue eyes took Felix’s breath away. Jack wet his lips, took his own blood onto his tongue, said “I need…”

And then the deep blue went glassy. 

Empty.

Seán was gone.

Felix didn’t pull away. He shut his own eyes so he wouldn’t have to see the death in Jack’s. He reached up to where Jack’s hand was still against his neck and took Jack’s hand in his own. The engagement ring on Jack’s finger was cold. Felix heard sirens and hated the sound.


End file.
